No Man is a Mountain

On Monday, I wrote about the importance of social interaction as it relates to your weight loss success.

People who "go it alone" never enjoy the success of those who lean on their peers.  That applies to more than weight loss.  Few things we do in our lives are improved by solitude.  The support of our circle of family and friends makes us better equipped to pursue our goals.

There are some very important ways you can incorporate family and friends to improve your odds of having success.

First, make sure you tell your friends what you're hoping to accomplish.  They want you to succeed.

Second, ask for their help changing your lifestyle.  If you go out to restaurants with your friends, suggest that you center your conversations around a walk instead of around food.  Ask a friend to workout with you or get involved in their own similar effort to lose weight.

Third, make sure they know when you're struggling.  Strangers seldom offer us much encouragement.  But when someone close to you tells you they believe in you, it somehow makes things much easier.

Now, don't expect any one friend to be everything - they won't appreciate being the constant pillar for you to lean on.  Make sure to use everyone in your network that you're comfortable talking to.

If you insist on keeping your goals in the dark, weight loss can become a lonely endeavor - not something anyone wants.

Are You Reading The Right Script?

I was talking to a fellow coach last night who was asking me for some advice to deal with an athlete’s dilemma. The athlete was essentially having confidence issues. It goes right back to what I wrote last week about a successful mindset. You can really hurt your chances of success – at anything – if you have something negative in your mind.

I once heard a mental health professional put it in terms of the left and right sides of your brain. When it comes to having a successful mindset, the saboteur is always the left side, the side of linear reasoning and language. The left side is the side that thinks it knows everything, and it’s all about having a script. For many people, that script tells them that they are going to fail at losing weight before they even start.

Maybe they’ve had a bad experience in the past, or maybe they’re just naturally skeptical, but the left side of their brain tells them in no uncertain terms exactly how their efforts are going to end up. The thought of potential failure exists exclusively in this side of the brain. But there’s one really important thing you need to know about that script – it isn’t representative of a real thing; it’s something your brain is making up.

If you ever catch yourself being a pessimist, just ask yourself a simple question – where would I be without that thought?

It’s really simple, actually. Does that negative thought represent anything real that is occurring, or is the left side of your brain writing a script where you fail? If it’s the latter, all you have to do is write a different script.

The Success Mindset

I remember when I used to do 1-on-1 personal training. I periodically did weigh ins with my weight loss clients. But before we ever did a weigh in, I always had to ask one simple question...

"Did you lose weight?"

I can tell you that, without exaggeration, 100% of the time their answer told me what we were going to see on that scale. The most common response among new clients was always the same - "I hope so." As soon as I heard that they "hoped" they lost weight, I knew that the scale wouldn't budge.

They already knew themselves that they didn't take care of business. They either didn't eat as well as they said they did in their journals or skipped a workout or two. Either way, they had to hope that they were going to see something good because they certainly knew they didn't do all they could.

After a while with the vast majority of clients, their answers changed. "Yes, I lost weight."

I even had a couple clients tell me it was time for the weigh in, clients who formerly shuddered when they thought about stepping on the scale.

What changed?

Their mindset had evolved from one of skepticism and defeatism to one of confidence. Once they knew what had to be done to lose weight, it took them a while to actually do it. They bought in and developed confidence in their efforts. They knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they had earned their results.

It's that mindset - the difference between being defeated and being confident - that makes all the difference. Many people head into gyms with a history of failing in their weight loss efforts. They are skeptical about anything and everything related to fitness. And that skepticism prevents them from throwing all of their beings behind their efforts. They don't work out as hard or as often as they should. They let themselves maintain the same crappy diet. They hope that something is different this time around, but they're missing the point.

There's a Henry Ford quote that sums it up nicely. It goes, more or less, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." If you think you can't lose weight - that it's not for you because you've failed before - it's going to show in your efforts. It's going to keep you from giving it your all because you're scared to try as hard as you can and fail.

Success in fitness can be attributed to so many factors - exercise, diet, genetics, just to name a few. But the overriding factor that contributes to everything else is your mindset.

So do you think you can, or do you think you can't?